What may be a more accurate statement is that "the nice guy never gets the bad' girl," or "the nice guy never gets the girl in the movies". But for the sake of good drama, neither of those scenarios would make for a good story line.
In reality, there are a great number of wonderful guys involved in wonderful relationships with wonderful women. And, one of the primary reasons that those wonderful couples are together is because some women actually prefer men who are courteous, respectful, truthful, and faithful.
One of the reasons why there is a perception that nice guys never get the girl is because many younger women find themselves curious about guys who are drastically different from themselves. Particularly if the guy comes from an environment which is culturally or socially the polar opposite from her own.
For many of these women, this is simply a period of exploration. Most have no interest in establishing long term relationships with "bad boys", but they enjoy the excitement of venturing into a world far different from what they have been accustomed.
Several generations ago, men were actually encouraged to do the very same thing. They were directed towards more worldly women to sow their "wild oats" in order not to taint the reputations of "ladies" in their own social standings. They were never expected to fall in love or marry these women. It was simply a means for them to gain intimate experience and satisfy sexual appetites. It never took away from their social standings as "gentlemen", nor were they chided for their adventurous explorations.
But, women have always been held to a higher standard. It has long been the expected norm for women to remain "pure" until their wedding night, and "ladies" were never expected to gain the same level of sexual experience as men. This societal concept still holds true in many cultures, but industrialized and more human rights oriented nations have come to accept that women have the same right to sexual exploration as they do the right to vote.
This also made it more acceptable for women to more openly date who they wanted, or date as many men as they wanted without having social stigmas placed upon them. Before long, chivalrous "nice guys" became boring, and the more worldly man was seen as someone who could satisfy their curiosities and raise their level of personal experience.
But, many women have had their fill of "bad boys". They've come to realize that "bad boys" are selfish, dishonest, unfaithful, and in may cases, have low self-esteem. They follow the crowd to be "cool", but rarely have an awareness of their own identity. They see women only as a sexual opportunity, but are threatened by the idea of monogamy and responsibility. To many women, "nice guys" have become a much more attractive alternative.There are a number of misconceptions about which characteristics make up a nice guy. Nice guys are usually thought of as inept geeks with limited social interaction skills, or introverted "choir boys" with impeccable manners and slow to make a move.
He's the kind of guy who seems more like your brother than a potential lover. Someone who is safe and non-threatening. He's the guy that your parents would love, but not the guy who could satisfy your occasional wild streak or rock your world. He's seen as a guy who would make a good husband for someone, but not as someone exciting or adventurous. Essentially, he's the guy who women talk to when the are having problems with their "bad boy".
But, nice guys have also come a long way, Baby. Nice guys are now able to continue being that rock of stability, while letting go of inhibitions and being more adventurous. They have learned to accept a woman for who she is, looking well beyond the surface of her physical attributes and into the soul of who she is a an individual. Nice guys can treat women with respect in public, and like a freak in the bedroom. And, they've transformed themselves from being nerds into studs, while still maintaining their own identities. Isn't that really what a woman wants in a man?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
veryheaven feature of Terry Marsh
Terry Marsh has covered a diverse range of topics as a writer including finance, love and relationships, political and social issues, and personal development.
His goal is to create pictures and ideas that change how we think or view the rest of the world. He places emphasis on communicating with impact, but without alienating readers.
He holds a degree in journalism and has worked extensively throughout the music industry in positions which include marketing, promotions, and as a tour publicist for a major concert production company. He has also written numerous commercials for both radio and television.
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