You have to stand up for your values and your beliefs. You own those things..no one else. Just because you enter into a relationship does not mean that you give away everything that you are. Take a long look at your relationship.
How much are you giving away? Not only am I talking about posessions such as your money, your car, and your living space, but intangibles such as your emotions, your energy, and your beliefs. Throw in your time, your love and your trust, and it becomes a very empty situation. These are valueable things that we spend most of our adult lives building and refining. They make us feel secure and comfortable and when all the small pieces fit together, define who we are.
We need to understand the difference between sharing and giving away.
Of course we want to share the things we have with someone we love, but when do we start to give and give to either fill the percieved voids we think we see in others, or worse yet..to try and keep someone in our lives. Your life is not for rent. Your not going to let just anyone move in.
Two individuals that are whole and complete share all the wonderful things that they value with each other. They share stories and secrets. They share experiences and dreams. They are building something very powerful together. They learn so much from each other that they feel enlightened and happy. As each individual grows, the more they have to share with their loved one. This is the kind of relationship that's important to you and it's the kind of love that will last.
All to often, we give to try to make someone happy.
We give to show them that we care. We give because the better we get to know someone, we begin to see the imperfections we did'nt pay attention to when we fell in love. In a gesture to 'get back' to the way we felt about them when we were in the throws of love, we give to try and patch up the voids we see and to 'fix' the situation. This can seem basically harmless at first until we feel the drain. Financially, emotionally..it does'nt matter. We are pulling from ourselves to fill the holes we see. I know we are brought up to care for people. Especially those we see that are not as fortunate as us.
But you have to learn to say "NO." You can't fix people.
Why would we think that we can? It is up to them. If they really care, they will look inside themselves and find the strength to make changes. A beautiful, caring relationship is a rare thing. You know that. We spend a majority of our lives looking for that elusive unshakeable love.
If your partner does'nt see the beauty and rarity..they are not for you.
If being the best that they can be is not priority number one they are not for you. If you are too busy babysitting your partner's problems, issues, and feelings, you may be missing out on meeting the love of your life. Your relationship will be a disaster and it's going to hurt. And remember this...don't believe that you are so smart as to have all the answers to fix someone's life long problems. It is a struggle for trained psychologists to even begin to help, and that can take years of therapy with no guarantee of results. First and foremost, it is up to each one of us to address our own issues and find the help we need. Playing "Doctor" was fun when we were children, but it is a whole different ballgame now.
Your life is not for rent. You own it. All the good, and all the bad. It is YOUR life. No one elses. Stand up for yourself, your values, your beliefs, and your dreams. If someone who has'nt earned your love is trying to set up house in your life, just tell them "NO"....
Written and shared by Mr. Collin Martin,
Relationship Artist and Expert
If you want to change your core beliefs and to change your relationships,
opportunities, self esteem and life you´ll become more encouraged on his website!
01. Mai 2009
04. Mai 2015